In my younger years I would often give out of guilt or because I thought it was the right thing to do. As I began to practice checking in with myself and listening for what felt right, I became more capable of giving from an authentic place. And still life continues to offer plenty of opportunities to explore my boundaries and capacities for interaction at work, social and familial gatherings.
Recently a client called me and thanked me for the time I had spent with her on the phone. Somehow it seemed absurd. I was getting just as much out of the interaction as she was. There was a reciprocal energy that was occurring, both sides of equal value. And so the concept of giver and receiver made no sense. We were playing roles for each other and we both benefitted from the interaction.
Now, the impulse to give is experienced as an energetic force that moves through me when I am being completely true to myself. When that force occurs, it becomes obvious that it’s not me who is giving. There is not a sense of giving or even a giver. There’s just gratitude that I am the conduit for what feels like an endless fountain of energy pouring through. It is effortless.
Next time you go to a holiday gathering, be selfish enough to check in with yourself, see what you are truly moved to and do that. Don’t feel like talking to someone? Gently excuse yourself. Be bold enough to push the edge of the cultural envelope. Give the gift of authenticity to yourself and others. Everyone will be the merrier for it!